So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”Genesis 32: 24-28
Have you ever wrestled with God? Maybe a struggle in your life, a situation that seemed unjust, or a character fault we might not want to admit. Jacob wrestled his whole life with his name. Jacob means "heal catcher" roughly equal to "liar." That is exactly what Jacob was. He lied and cheated his brother, his father, his uncle... etc. He could never own up to his name. In fact he falsified his identity to everyone, never claiming his own name until that moment, a wrestling match with God. God is great at wrestling...
I wonder if God wrestles with me in a similar way I wrestle with Gabriel, my three year old son? There are times when I let him maneuver me, hold me and even pin me. Giving it his all, he pushes and pulls thinking that the advantage is his and with just a little more effort he might bring me to the ground. But I know, that at any time I can turn the tables. Even when Gabe gets frustrated, maybe even angry, I take joy in watching him learn his own limits, growing in strength in his little arms , but also his spirit.
When Jacob wrestled with God, he was forced to own up to his name. When we wrestle with God, maybe he is allowing us to maneuver him, waiting for us to learn our limits and understand the condition of our heart. A few years ago, I was invited by a pastor to take a retreat praying on this very story. The group was asked to spend the day in solitude and ask God to show us our new name. I spent the day thinking about my family and my son who was about to enter the world... God brought me to psalm 1 and in my soul I heard; "You are a tree." I realized in that moment that God was inviting me to be a safe place for my family and for those I serve.
What is God inviting you to reflect on in your wrestling with him? What is your name? What is the name God want to give you?
In Jesus' Name
Amen
